The Norm and... well, just the Norm really!

*Comic relief is on and Justin from 'The Darkness' is singing*

Norm: he reminds me of that guy from The Darkness

Me: he is the man from The Darkness

Mum: who did you think he was?

Norm: umm... the man from 'Changing Rooms'!

Mum: Laurence Llewelyn Bowen!?

The Norm and geographical places

Me: I went to visit Barry Island the other day

Norm: who's he?

Me: Barry Island!

Norm: yeh I've never heard of him before

Me Barry ISLAND!!!!

The Norm and The New Covenant

Sets scene: Martyn, Mavis, Maxine, Tessa, Lozza & The Norm are all sat round the table on a Sunday evening at church answering questions about The New Covenant which was this week's bible study.

Martyn: I think the New Covenant requires slightly more than The Old Covenant even though we are covered by grace because in The Old Covenant it says "Do not murder" however in The New Covenant it says "Even if you have anger in your head or thought a thought that is as good as the act itself"

The Norm: When I read that I always think "DAMN"

*Everyone looks at The Norm"

The Norm: Well, no I don't mean "DAMN" I mean "DA.............................. AMN"

*Everyone laughs*

The Norm way to be a dad

Loz: Hi Norm

The Norm: WOAH Loz it's hot in here.

Loz: I know I like the heat - feel my hands.

The Norm: yeah they're cold but you shouldn't have it so hot in here it's bad for the immune system.

Loz: Really? I have a bad immune system.

The Norm: Do you?

Loz: Yeah

The Norm: It's probably because the heat *turns the heater off*

*The Norm then chats on about school for 10mins*

Loz: Norm I think Timmay is waiting for you to do bible study upstair so you better go.

The Norm: ok I'm going *firm strict voice* DO NOT TURN THE HEATER BACK ON.

Loz: *scared* ok dad.